This simple move could make or break you

Congratulations, you've made it (or almost made it) to the end of term.

Your brain is a soup, your planner looks like it survived a house fire, and it’s the season of reckoning with end of year results, wildly optimistic goal-setting, and remembering how to be a person in rooms with other people.

And so, dear reader, let’s talk about something deeply serious: your handshake.

Not your metaphorical handshake. Not your “I agree to these Terms & Conditions” checkbox.

Your actual, physical, flesh-and-bone handshake.

That thing your form tutor probably mentioned once, just before handing you a laminated guide to “Dressing for Success” and a smile that said “I’ve done my bit; you’re on your own now”.

Let’s be clear: a floppy handshake is not just socially unsettling, it’s a full-body transmission of “I have no idea what I’m doing and I might cry if you make eye contact for too long.”

But, does it really matter?

Yes. (Even in 2025.)

You may be thinking: “Surely we’ve evolved beyond judging people based on their wrist tension?”

To which I say: HA.

Humans are still just slightly clumsy creatures in blazers. First impressions are made faster than your disconnect when your 40 minutes are up on Zoom.

A handshake is one of the few ritualised, physical moments left in a world drowning in emojis and voice notes.

I’ve seen more kids look at the floor during a limp handshake and mumble “thank you” to their shoes than actually make eye contact with the person handing them the prize—like the real miracle was making it onto the stage without collapsing, rather than feeling remotely grateful for the actual prize.

And when you offer someone a limp, half-hearted paw, you’re not just saying “hello.” You’re saying:

• “I lack conviction.”
• “I fear confrontation, authority, and strong breezes.”
• “I shake hands the way wet laundry clings to a radiator.”

It’s not ideal.

But let’s be nuanced here.

A strong handshake doesn’t mean aggression.

A handshake should not resemble a CrossFit exercise.

We’re not trying to compress metacarpals or assert dominance like a sweaty motivational speaker at a breakfast seminar. This isn’t a handshake deathmatch.

This is about presence.

Intentionality.

Knowing that your hand is attached to your body, and your body is attached to a vaguely functional brain.

It’s about saying: “I’m here, I’m awake, and I can interact with humans equally as well as with my Insta feed.”

Studies—real ones, from actual psychologists with degrees and cardigans—show that people with a firm handshake are perceived as more confident, competent, and likeable.

Research from the Journal of Applied Psychology even found that firm handshakes directly improve hiring outcomes. Another study found they’re linked to personality traits like extraversion and openness—and yes, that means people are literally judging your grip strength as a window into your soul.

Meanwhile, people with limp handshakes? Often seen as shy, reserved, or just plain forgettable. And in the workplace, where eye contact and assertive gestures still (annoyingly) rule, that small squeeze can mean the difference between being heard... and being quietly sidelined.

References: proper sources, properly sourced

• Stewart, G. L., Dustin, S. L., Barrick, M. R., & Darnold, T. C. (2008). Exploring the handshake in employment interviews. Journal of Applied Psychology, 93(5), 1139–1146. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-9010.93.5.1139
• Chaplin, W. F., Phillips, J. B., Brown, J. D., Clanton, N. R., & Stein, J. L. (2000). Handshaking, gender, personality, and first impressions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 79(1), 110–117. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.79.1.110
• Carney, D. R., Hall, J. A., & LeBeau, L. S. (2005). Beliefs about the nonverbal expression of social power. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 29(2), 105–123. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10919-005-2743-z

In educational settings, a good handshake can shift how you’re remembered. Whether you’re thanking your head teacher, meeting a guest speaker, or trying to charm your way into that slightly-too-competitive internship, you want to be memorable.

Not in a “weird handshake” way, but in a “hey, they seemed switched on” way.

You also get bonus points if you make eye contact and don’t apologize for existing while doing it.

If you’re not sure how your handshake reads, practice with a friend who has no filter. We all have one.

They’ll tell you if it feels like shaking hands with a limp garden hose. Or worse: if you’re the person who does the double hand clasp. (Unless you’re 78 years old and trying to get elected to your parish council, never do the double hand clasp.)

So as you pack away your highlighters, throw out your expired energy drinks, and dust off your draft personal statement, remember this: your handshake is your handshake. Don’t let it whisper “I give up.” Let it say, “I showed up.”

And if nothing else, let it be less painfully memorable than your last “hello, nice to meet you” that sounded like “yo, wassup.”

Nici

P.S.

Summer’s here: some of you are now kicking back, others are off on school camping trips or wrapping up the end-of-term. I’m putting the regular Friday emails on pause until September—but don’t worry, I’ll pop in with the odd post when inspiration hits.

If you’ve got kids gearing up for big exams next year and want some revision booster sessions, or just want to give a brain that’s been in rest mode a jumpstart before September when those start-of-year assessments hit like a freight train, then get in touch.

Or if you're just craving some super-curricular inspiration? Ping me an email — I genuinely love hearing from you and reply to every message.